Provision

A student recently asked me to share with them my faith journey. Just a quick reflection on my life and how I have witnessed God working in it. When I think about my faith, the word that always comes to mind is provision. At the age of 35, I can look back and see the too-many-times-to-count ways that God has provided me just what it was that I needed (even when I didn’t even know what I needed). Seeing His provisions in my past gives me such a comfort in my present and for my future. I have proof that He loves me and is faithful to His promises.

I shared some of God's big provisions with her, going all the way back to my earliest memories. My grandparents were a tremendous blessing in my life (and still are). I don't know if they were hand picked for me or me for them, but I count them as one of His biggest provisions in my life, and they continue to bless me and teach me even though they are no longer with me.

I believe and am thankful that God provided my parents with mindfulness when it came to my brothers and I. Even through difficulty, God gave them discernment on how to co-parent and love us well. I am proud of my parents for their teamwork in raising the boys and I, and I know that not many kids with divorced parents can say that.

Douglas is one of God's greatest provisions in my life. He is an answer to a prayer I prayed in 4th grade and one of my greatest blessings. Actually without him, I wouldn’t have all of the other blessings in my life. Plus he is awfully handsome.

There are so many little moments sprinkled throughout my life where I have seen God’s provisions. Jobs, schedules, help, seasons of sicknesses, seasons of health, people, words, opportunities, losses, gains. In sweet, easy seasons, He has provided. In sadness and seasons of loss, He has provided. 

Sometimes I think about how easy it is to love God when life really is easy. I am so fortunate, so blessed. Besides shattering my own back window on my van this month, I really cannot complain. So yeah…it is easy to give thanks. It is easy to have a “strong faith”. A worry that will creep in to my mind sometimes is the thought that I am a fake. That I don’t really believe like I think I do. That my faith is grounded on fluff. But then in some way or another I am reminded of how God has worked in my past. Through sweetness and through suffering He has been good. I am living proof of His provisions and His kept promises. How could I not believe?

I felt His provisions this month. November was a slight whirlwind; overwhelmed, inadequate at times and a bit grouchy are how I would describe myself for some of the month. Woo hoo. But guess what. Through just the right people at just the right moments, words of love and affirmation, safety and health, perfectly synced schedules, reminders of truth and so much more, His provisions have the good of the month far, far outweighing the bad. 

This month Doug and I got to run. 13.1 miles to be exact! We ran the Madison Half Marathon with our friends Brad and Jordan and Brad’s brother Eric. Eric and his wife Jenna were the best hosts; you should have seen the breakfast spread Jenna had ready for us after our race. We had fun seeing bits of Madison and getting a tour of Epic. The race itself was awesome…rolling hills, a great crowd, beautiful weather. Just awesome… until the last three uphill into the wind miles. Those were not awesome. We all ran well. Doug met his goal despite injuries through his training. He should be very proud of himself. Throughout my training, I went from just wanting to finish and have fun to wanting to PR. And I did! By a slim minute 32. Hey...I still got to ring that PR bell! I do not recommend running a half and then getting in the car for five hours. I do recommend running a half with your husband and a few best friends. 

This month we were blessed with the musical talents of Miss Emery Kayt. Em is in her music era. This is her 4th year taking piano lessons, first year taking voice lessons and first year playing the French horn. She loves every minute of it. At her first voice recital she had quite the audience. She admits she was nervous during her first song (Cruella de Vill) but by the time she sang Jingle Bell Rock, she was all confidence. I cried at her piano recital. She played The First Noel, and I know that I am biased, but it was beautiful. There is something about Christmas music and my sweet daughter on a baby grand...the tears were inevitable. Em seems to have grown up all of a sudden and Doug and I absolutely love it and her. 

This month we celebrated a wonderful Thanksgiving. We started the morning with the 2nd Annual Troy's Turkey Trot. I did not PR this race, but I did have fun with my friends. After that we spent the morning watching the parade, cooking with Nana and cheers-ing to all that we have to be thankful for. After that it was off to Austin's for an evening of yummy food and baby Harper snuggles. So the best day. We celebrated with the Jansen crew on Saturday. Doug and I successfully cooked a 20lb turkey and no one was injured during family dodgeball--so another best day was had. We have so much to be thankful for. 

This month we got all dressed up. My school just celebrated Homecoming and Bennett Lee had a very important role--crown bearer with one of his lifelong friends Evelyn. Being in charge of Homecoming, I may or may not have had Bennett and Evie picked for these jobs since they were itty-bitty. I know little girls are fun with their dresses and hair...but give me a handsome little boy in a dapper little suit any day. I was swooning! Bennett and Evie took their jobs very seriously and stole the show--I was so proud of both of them! After coronation on Friday, it was Doug and I that got to get dressed up to chaperone the dance on Saturday. We think this is our 6th Homecoming together (and I have asked him to five of them). I am so glad I have a husband that is a good sport (and again, he is awfully handsome). 

This month had so much more happen than what these pictures show. My Dad had surgery (and is healing well--thank you Lord!), my CASA girls were adopted (another answered prayer!), Bennett started basketball, Auggie started all the practices, and did I mention I ran into my own mailbox and shattered my own back glass. 

And through it all, God has provided. I might have felt overwhelmed or not enough, but when I look back, there He is. His provisions are in plain sight. And for that, I am thankful. 

*This Poptart and Pepper picture serves zero purpose except to show you how cute they are. You are welcome.*