Lasts and Firsts

This time of year brings about so many mixed emotions for me. I have sat here and tried to think of one word that exactly summarizes May for me and all I can come up with is bittersweet. 

And I guess that works. 

For the past seven days, and into the next week, it feels like everything is a last. I am a sappy-mess thinking about it. But then I remember that with lasts comes many firsts. There's that bittersweet element. Sad for our lasts but so excited for the up and coming firsts. 

Last Friday was Doug's last time taking Emery to pre-school~they even got a donut to celebrate. A last ride to pre-school might not seem like much with all of the years of school ahead of her, but their morning car rides have been special. She waves like a crazy person, blows kisses, gives thumbs up and makes silly faces. Doug has even noticed the drivers behind him laughing and shaking their heads. But it won't always be like this. The newness and fun of being dropped off at school will fade. 

So that is why Friday was special.

Today is Em's last official day of Pre-K~she graduates on Wednesday. 

She has become so much more confident this year. She is a rule follower, an observer, a helper and a friend. And she loves school. Every morning I tell her to be a good girl and be nice and she rolls her eyes and tells me she is always nice. My prayer is that I can say these exact same words after next year, and the next, and the....you get the idea. Yesterday she told us that she is proud of herself and it made Doug and I smile. She also said that she is nervous and excited about Kindergarten and I told her that I feel the exact same way and that that is okay. With these last days of school will come her last days at Miss Sharon's too. She will miss her buddies next year but they will soon be in school with her too. I think she will really miss her time with Bennett though. Auggie is the one that will really struggle with her going to school....he is her shadow and biggest fan (doesn't take after her in any way but is somehow still her shadow ha!). 

For myself, I feel like these are some of the last days that I can truly say I have three babies. Emery Kayt will always be my baby....but there is something about this transition to Kindergarten that feels big. I really am just like Em, excited and nervous. 

As a teacher, these are also the last days of my first year. Last days with my seniors. I have had the pleasure of teaching 25 seniors this year. It is always interesting to teach seniors in your first year because they come with an expectation or an image of what you should be like. It is also their last year, a year that should be a mix of growth and hard work but also of enjoyment and fun. I am happy to say that that is how I would describe our year together. I have really enjoyed this group and am a proud, sappy mess with them. This has been my 6th year in teaching and my 4th new school. Every other year I have had a countdown going for summer break. It could never get here soon enough. But this year has felt just a little different. I think where I teach has a lot to do with that--the staff and students have been wonderful to me this year--but I also think it has to do a lot with me. I felt confident this year and taught what I love. While I will of course sigh a huge breath of relief when all is graded and the desks are empty, I will still miss this past year. 

I tried to think of recent lasts with the boys. For Auggie I could only think of diapers. No more diapers! Not so sad about that last. 

And luckily B has more firsts coming then lasts for awhile. 

Really, our family has many firsts to look forward to.

This 17 lbs of smiles got his first haircut and somehow looks cuter than ever. We are all so excited for his first summer. He is just going to be the perfect tag-a-long. I recently got out all of Auggie's 12 month summer clothes and they fit Bennett perfectly. I have never been so emotional folding laundry...it was a walk down memory lane and I remembered lots of Auggie firsts with many outfits. I think it will be sweet to see B making many of those same firsts in them. 

This past weekend we had our first boat ride of the year. I want a million more with my crew. We are eagerly awaiting the first swim, our first beach day, our first picnic, and our first evening fire flies. I want to try our first Drive-In movie, maybe our first friend sleep-over too. No matter what we do, it will be our first summer of five. 

And right around the corner will be the last days of summer and new firsts will follow that. This life is something else. Whew. Its going by so fast. My hands have felt really full recently but so has my heart. 

Just trying to enjoy and be thankful for all of our lasts and firsts.