Because She Would Have Wanted Me To....

My Grandma went to be with the Lord on Wednesday.

It might sound odd to say that it was a beautiful night, but it was. One that I will always remember. The days that have followed have felt busy. Planning this and that, thinking about what would have made Grandma happy, smiling and laughing at memories and then catching my breath from crying. 

Sunday and Monday will be hard. And then...I don't know. I don't know what my birthday will feel like without her or what the first Newton Football game will feel like with her not sitting down in the car waiting for me to come visit and I hate to think about our first holiday without her. 

But I have spent enough time with my G'ma to know how she would want me to feel. So that is what I am going to try to do. 

I have loved looking through old pictures lately. Pictures from my childhood (I had such a good one), pictures from my Dad's childhood (we found the one picture of Grandma where she is pregnant with my Dad and she might have been the cutest pregnant lady ever.) It has even been nice for me to go back to when my G'ma became my babies' GiGi. The picture above is the moment she met her great-granddaughter. This has been a really big week for Emery Kayt. One that my Grandma would have wanted to hear all about. She never missed a blog post and I know she went back and read them over and over. It feels weird to look back and see all the smiles from this hard week that I need to blog about, but because she would have wanted me to, I am going to write so that I can remember.

We waited until the very last days of summer to get school ready. Me included. The kids were easy--fresh haircuts, a few babysitter supplies, line up all the school uniforms in the closet. I will admit that I love that I can use "because it's a school night" to get my kids to come inside and get ready for bed early. Every year I prep for the school year later and later. I ended up missing the real first day of school this year but I am so glad that my school is so understanding and easy to work with. I had a sophomore boy that I don't even know add my family to one of his class's prayer list. I had two students bring me a card and candy, they just wanted me to know they were thinking of me. I have been praying for this school year and even though it has not started out how I would have liked it to, it will be a wonderful one. 

Bennett Lee must have known that I needed rest this week. Last week (and lots of weeks before that) he has been an awful sleeper. Up and needy all. of. the. time. We blamed teeth and maybe a cold and maybe just his stubbornness. One day back to the babysitters schedule and he slept through the night!

She is a miracle worker haha. Since then he was gotten up here and there but nothing like before. 

I might make it through the school year after all. 

Em had a Meet the Teacher night right before the first day of school. Her and Charlee get to be in the same class this year. Having the same last name, we kind of figured that this would never happen. We are so happy for the girls (and for us Mommas) that they will have each other. 

And guess what, their cubbies and desks are right next to each other too! Be good, girls.

We took this picture two years ago when they started pre-school.....

And now they are all grown up. 

Ugh. 

For the girl that doesn't love to get up early in the mornings, Miss Em popped out of bed Thursday morning. She was nervous and excited and we prayed that all classmates would be kind and that she would have fun. How stinkin' cute does she look in her uniform!?!

Poor Aug. He wasn't too sure about her going to school and not to Sharon's with him. I always had Emery to tell me if the boys were good or not and now I have to rely on Auggie....so who knows what I am going to get told!

Doug and I both got to drop her off and yes, of course I cried. But not too much. 

After school Doug and I asked her a million questions. Her favorite part was lunch, she saw a few old friends and her teacher is nice. Later we learned that she thought bigger girls were laughing at her when she was trying to jump rope but she knew that was a mean thing to do. I just told her to be nice to people that are mean and she finished my thought--"Just like I try to be good so that I can teach Auggie to be good?-- Exactly, Em! Doug on the other hand wants to keep her home and protected forever and ever. We encouraged her to introduce herself to someone new in class and after the second day she was excited to tell me that she did just that. She even introduced Charlee to some of her old pre-school classmates. 

That is Doug and I's hope for all of her years of schooling, that she is kind to everyone. 

So far, so good. What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall! Instead I will have to settle for our after-school time together. 

Once school hits, I am ready for fall. Ready for a new season. This summer has been so wonderful yet so heartbreaking. But like I said, I am going to try to feel the way Grandma would have wanted me to. 

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” Philippians 4:6-8.

This is my Grandma in a Bible verse. So I will look for the good and I will sing His praises. I will smile and laugh and make new fall memories. Because she would have wanted me to.