Summer

Summer is really so sweet to me. This summer especially. My first summer with three babies.

But with three, sometimes the days are long and the nights often run too short. Someone always needs a snack, there is always laundry to fold and a full dishwasher to unload and then reload with the days dishes. Fingernails always need scrubbed and trimmed, doors are always open ready to let all the cold air out and the neighborhood cat in, and someone always needs to know if their shoes are on the right feet. It is easy to feel drained. To wish for just a moment of quiet or for bedtime to hurry up. And if I am being honest, it is sometimes easy for me to wish summer away. But then something always, and I mean always, puts things into perspective. Something as simple as a quick hug around the leg as your orneriest runs through the house, on his way out to find his precious rubber boots. Or it is your daughter randomly telling you that she wants to be a nurse or a doctor someday because she likes to help people feel better. It's hearing laughter from the bedroom down the hall. It's the slobbery kiss that you would have missed had you not been trying to rock your baby to sleep for the last hour and a half. It even comes from the people around you. Their journeys and stories remind you of all that you have. And then you never want summer to end. 

But it does end. School starts and so does this business that I love yet can't help but be worried about. I know we will find our new normal. We do every year. I will love asking them about their days, I will love the experiences that they have, I will love seeing them be loved on by others, growing as little human beings do. And really I will love missing them. Where in summer I sometimes take for granted the time I have with them, I tend to try to cherish it more during the school year.

I am so thankful that God put in my heart the desire to teach because I do think it allows me to be the best me. It gives me this balance and fulfills my desire to be home with my children that need me and to be with my kids at school, who hopefully need me too. As Doug has reminded me of in the past, I have the best of both worlds. 

And as this summer winds down, I want to remember so many little things about it.

Special moments with each of my babies, things I have learned about each one, things I have learned about my self. 

I have learned to relax this summer. I don't mean lounging by the pool with a drink in my hand (although that sounds wonderful and I would be very good at it) but relax as in chill out about silly little things that don't matter. It seems like my "Important" list has changed. I have been late more times this summer than I ever have in my whole life. Oh well. We got there. I used to make sure every hair on Emery Kayt's head was in place, with a matching bow. While I still love a big bow, I think she looks so beautiful at the end of the day with half of her sweaty hair loosely laying outside of her ponytail. Bennett has had about one or two new outfits bought for him this summer because stained hand-me-downs do just fine and I really could care less if Auggie goes to War-mart in his bib overalls and rubber black boots. I was brought up to not leave the house without my hair and makeup done but at 29 (almost 30...yikes) I am embracing my bare face and have fallen in love with the perfect pink ball cap. I used to meticulously pack my diaper bag and now I sometimes chance running a few errands without one because who knows if it even had in it what I would have needed. Before I had three kids I probably would have had a hard time not staring at the hot-mess of a mother in the restaurant with her loud and messy kids, but now I am that mother. We leave a trail of crumbs wherever we go and I can promise that you will hear us coming. I have shrugged my shoulders and just laughed so much this summer. My kids made me change and I am thankful for that. 

When I picture Emery this summer I picture her with sweaty ringlets around her face, a few bug bites, sun-kissed skin and the most beautiful smile. At five she still has the most contagious cackle (because it is way more than a laugh) and this feels like the summer she grew up. 

She hears and sees everything, has a soft heart that can get hurt easily and this summer showed us signs of nervousness and worry. New territory for Doug and I. As a family we are going about these new feelings with honest answers and prayer and that seems to be working. She is usually so easy and so good but this summer has also brought out stubbornness and sass (Doug says she gets it from me.) Where you can talk a toddler into or out of something, that ain't happening with five year old Em. She loathes time-outs and would rather you take away her television time than her precious sleeping stuffed animals. She loves Bennett and is like a second mother of the house. I rely on her a lot. She loves exploring outside, makes everyday-play fun, would pick staying home and playing with the neighbor girl over just about anything and she has never met a dessert she didn't like. This summer she danced in the rain, swam without floaties, got dirty everyday and still ended every night with the same old saying: "I don't just love a little people, I love a lot of people because I'm everybody's best friend and I am a shweety."

Now she is looking forward to Kindergarten. She says she is excited and nervous which is perfect. I had her try on one of her school uniforms the other day and almost teared up because she looked so big yet so little in that moment. She told me she is going to miss being with her brothers which is so her but I promised her the evenings and weekends would be special. I hope she is ready for me to ask her 100 questions about her day. We will get some just Mom and Em time everyday which we need. Because boys are loud and needy. But we love them.

Another thing that I have learned is that I still have a long way to go when it comes to patience. Its kind of funny that earlier I said that I felt more relaxed this summer and here I am now saying that I lack patience. We are all messes aren't we? I am a go-getter. A multi-tasker. I start a project and I finish it. I don't waste time. And throughout me life, I usually always got what I wanted when I wanted it. Before kids I never had to practice patience. I never thought of myself as impatient though either. But three kids will change that in a hurry and I am here to say that I am. And I don't like how it makes me feel. I would even go as far to say that I have the slightest touch of a quick temper. I don't yell or scream, I just feel myself get frustrated quickly if Emery or Auggie or even Baby Bennett (especially up all night Baby Bennett) do not do what I think they should be doing, when I think they should be doing it. Now I know some things that they do that bring out this frustration in me are not patience-issues. They are having a 5 and a 3 and a baby issues. Normal kids driving their normal mother crazy. But somethings are definetly a lack of patience on my part. Earlier this year I felt this strain on my patience and I prayed and actively thought about it and it did help. My relationship with my children felt so much better. I was calm-mom. But then I stopped because the prayer lists get long and sometimes we lie to ourselves and ignore the things that we need to be praying for. But its back on the list. I will be praying for patience in the middle of the night with a crying baby and in the mornings when my kiddos aren't moving quite as fast as I would like them to. *Side note: I have got to learn the art of getting up before my kids. I know it makes our days go better but dang....I like sleeping in in the summer.

Funny how I put Auggie's picture after my patience paragraph.....

When I picture Auggie this summer I picture him in his rubber black boots, faded cardinals hat, red heat-flushed cheeks driving past me on his beloved tractor. He is the farmer that doesn't want to get dirty, the boy that must get dressed immediately in the morning because outside is calling his name.

I think this summer has just been full of happiness for him because he has gotten to be outside all day everyday and has gotten to tag along with Emery.

He will finally get his boots dirty and doesn't mind getting a little wet in the rain. He isn't as cuddly as he used to be but he has made up for that with his "Morning Kiss" ritual. We gave up on naps because everyday it was he and I fighting for an hour just to have him win and not take a nap. We would both apologize to each other and I decided it wasn't worth it. With that, he still very much needs a nap and often dozes on the couch in the late afternoon when I trick him by offering him a snack. He loves Emery and Fredbird and pretending to be a farmer/basketball player/a cousin. He is continuously pretending to be someone else and it always depends on what shoes he is wearing. He can be so good yet so bad and Doug and I have no idea what parenting tactic works on him. Nothing bothers him and we can't keep a straight face while disciplining him because he always has something funny to do or say. We have always said that there is just something a little special about Auggie.

He wants to go to pre-school like yesterday and I think he will love it. Work on those listening skills! I am excited for the fall with him because that means Newton football games, harvest, fun in the leaves. You better believe we are going to put him to work with that tractor and trailer of his. I will miss him but I think some time apart will do us some good (I'm hoping for extra cuddles in the evenings and lots of wuv yous) and I know a stricter schedule will do him some good.

But I don't want him to be too good. I like my ornery blondie just the way he is.

This summer I have learned about strength and beauty. My own and so many others around me. At the start of summer I felt so blahhhh. Unhappy with my appearance and how I felt (those dang third babies will get ya!) and I knew I had to do something about it. I also knew a quick fix wasn't going to cut it this time. All of a sudden I have this strong desire to be the best role model I can be for my kids. I know it has always been there but before I guess I thought they weren't watching or listening. But guess what...they are always watching and listening. I have always struggled with body image but in the past turned to unhealthy habits instead of actually bettering myself. I would never ever want this for Emery. I want her to be confident in the beautiful skin God gave her. So I figured I better start feeling more confident in my own. Insert crazy idea to take up running here. I think I mentioned many many posts ago that I thought I was going to start running and I am happy to say today that I still am! Three miles is the farthest I have ran non-stop and my goal of 6 will need to happen in about two months. Never have I ever ran or even really sweat for that matter and I hate to admit it, but it feels good. What feels even better is when my kids see me get my tennis shoes out and they ask me if I am going to go running. They have cheered me on from the front porch as I (slowly) run by. They don't care about how far or how fast I go. They are proud of me no matter what. (It also feels good to fit into a smaller pair of jeans or have your hubby tell you you are looking good too!)

 I have also learned this summer that there is so much beauty in characteristics like honesty, dependability, and empathy. I have friends far away that I know I can lean on to be my prayer warriors. They bring me comfort and often find just the right words to say even if it is through text. I have friends just miles away that keep me laughing and accountable and I find their honesty refreshing. I have been lifted up by so many wonderful women this summer and I have tried to do a little of this too. Strength and beauty, ladies. Strength and beauty.

When I picture Bennett Lee this summer I picture him grinning. Always grinning with that big dimple of his. He has the cutest two teeth I have ever seen (and boy does he show them off when he is mad). His hair gets lighter and fluffier everyday and I think he has the bluest eyes out of the three kids. I picture him with dirty, rough knees because he goes a mile a minute, sitting at the front door wishing he could be big like Em and Aug. 

He loves Emery and Auggie and Daddy gets the biggest smiles. I am the one that comforts him but I would not describe him as cuddly. Too busy to be cuddly. He is my best eater and my worst sleeper and I am praying that getting back to a schedule helps with the latter. And can he be done teething yet? He was a surprise to us and this summer I found myself watching him, wondering what I would have ever done without him. He has brought so much joy to our lives and I can't help but wonder what he is going to be like. So far I think he is a mix of his older siblings and yet he is this new, special Baby B.

I am so glad I got to be home with him this summer. Months seven through nine have brought about new tricks, personality traits, big goofy smiles that I would have missed had I been working. This fall we will celebrate him. I think the big kids will love doing that. He will walk and maybe say his first words. I am so excited for all of these changes and even though he won't be a baby anymore he will still be the baby.

I have learned so much this summer. I have learned that I really like cold brew coffee and that concealer can work wonders. I have learned that I will do about anything to not fold heaps of laundry and that I still hate putting the dishes away. Thankfully my husband knows that acts of service is my love language so he often does it for me. I have learned that I can only manage to eat two healthy meals out of the three because #balance #ice cream. I have learned that having a 10 year old next door is a God-send. I have learned that cute shoes alway fit and that higher-end fingernail polish just might be worth it. I have learned that a mile really isn't that far and kid baths don't have to happen every other night. I have stayed up too late all summer and renewed my love for "Say Yes to the Dress". I have embraced the saying "treat yo self" because it is the summer of my 30th birthday. I have prayed more this summer and told important people in my life that I love them more this summer.

Emery Kayt ~5 years old

August Samuel ~3 years old

Bennett Lee ~8 months old

 I have learned not to be afraid to ask for help when it comes to these three and I have been reminded over and over again that family and friends are two of God's greatest gifts. 

So are these three little ones. And so are summers.

Summer is really so sweet to me. This summer especially.

I had to add this outtake too because this is real life. Somebody has to be picking their nose! And I wanted to thank my lovely friend Sharon for capturing my babies at my favorite ages (I think I say that with every new age). I will cherish these pictures forever.