Gather. Grow. Go.

Gather. Grow. Go. These three simple words met me at the door when I got to Hearts. They were the first words talked about when the co-founders of Hearts 2.0 stepped on the stage. They were the first words that spoke straight to my heart. 

As mothers we gather our littles. I picture a mother hen and her baby chicks. I picture sitting on the floor while my three wrestle to all fit on my lap. Before kids I used to dream about hollering out the front door that supper was ready and standing back to watch my children gather. And that dream came true. We hope that our children would want to gather to us. As mothers we help them to grow. Yes, we literally feed them-a home cooked meal by a momma is the very best meal. But we help them grow emotionally and spiritually as well. We try to meet their core needs, we give them security and teach them important lessons. And then as mothers we have to let them go. I am soooo not ready to think about this one. But haven't I already let Em hop off to kindergarten? Aren't I letting them go a little in every new part of this journey?

As mothers it is also important for us to gather. Man, girl-time is good. This past weekend it was a room of over 1,000 women who gathered. Once a month it is me and two of my best girl-friends. It doesn't matter how many or how often. Gathering together is always good. As mothers we grow. Because of this blog, I can look back and say that I am proud of the woman and momma and wife that I am growing into. And as a mother I am being called to go. Go out and speak truth and love! Go out and be there for others! Go out and lead!

Gather. Grow. Go. 

That was just a theme mentioned quickly at the beginning of the conference. I had tears in my eyes and could feel a tugging on my heart....I could have just left after that! Thank goodness I didn't.

This year the conference hit me. I didn't leave with 10 practical tips to get my child to mind. I didn't walk back in the door with a long list of ideas to implement right away. Instead I left with the overwhelming feeling of how loved I am and how imperfect I am and a great big reminder that I was created with a purpose for a purpose. Amen!

Dr. Kathy Koch, a co-founder of the new Hearts kicked the conference off with transparency and laughter which was refreshing and inspiring. She spoke on every person having five core needs. Think of them as building blocks--you don't have one, you won't have the next. 

They are....

1. Security

2. Identity

3. Belonging

4. Purpose

5. Competence

Three of these core needs really stood out to me and were what I needed to hear in this season.

Security. This one is simple but the most important and perhaps the hardest to really, really, really do. In order to meet my other four needs, I need to first be secure in Christ and secure in who I am and who I am around. It all starts with this foundation. This year I have been working hard on my security in Christ--in truly trusting Him. I am realizing what an amazing trickle down affect this has. In trusting God I am learning to trust myself and figuring out who I can trust to walk with me down this path. As a mom of littles and a teacher to bigs, I already knew and already work on all of my kids feeling secure. No matter how young or old, they must have security. Beyond giving them a sense of security I need to teach them decrement and show them how to trust themselves. I just realize now that I have to practice what I preach.

Identity. Who am I? Simple question with a not so simple answer. Jill Savage started by stating something that I could very much relate to. She said she was not a "Label Girl"-meaning she didn't care about the brand of clothing she wore or the purse she carried. I'll take Wal-mart everyday. Maybe Target if I am feeling fancy. But she then went on to reveal that she was a "Label Maker". Not enough, failure, weak. I put these labels on myself and I really hate to admit that I put labels like this on others too. Jill spoke on how labels stick, speak and cost. So true! Instead of thinking that I am a failure, I need to exchange this label for something like capable. I am who God says that I am and I need to drown the worlds words out and let God's voice in. Looking back in my notes I circled, starred and bolded the following words: I was created on purpose for a purpose. Whew! I sit here and think about those times where I feel like I fall short or I question where God has put me in life. It is all for a purpose. I think about my own babies and smile thinking about their purposes that have yet to be revealed. Sitting next to my dear friend Sharon, I thought of her angels and the purpose they have had in my life. 

Jill went on to tell us that we have to stop comparing our lives to others. When she boldly stated that we compare our insides to others outsides I found myself shaking my head in agreement. Social media has its place and I love it but man can it stir up this feeling of not being good enough in me. Who needs that!?! I have already been limiting my time on it and I feel so much more free from those feelings of inadequacy. 

Going along with the idea of identity, Dr. Kathy Koch reminded me that we all have strengths and weaknesses and so do our kids. She talked about our kids having what we might think is a weakness but really it is just a "strength too much".  I love that! My friend Ammon and I had already talked about this idea when it comes to raising our sons. 

And when it does come down to weaknesses I need to remember not to dwell there. Not to live in my weaknesses or my child's. Dr. Koch talked about her own weaknesses and places in her life that she could have felt sorry for herself or things that could have held her back but she decided to change her attitude about things she could not change. You better bet I starred that lesson too.

Having a positive identity or self image is something I used to really struggle with and sometimes that doubt still rears its ugly head but I am so much better. So much more comfortable and proud of my identity. 

Purpose. "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

Susan Seay (I love her) is all about purpose and intention. She spoke to the momma in me the most. She came out of the gate asking two huge questions: What if the parenting (or career, marriage, financial, friend) challenges I am facing are for a bigger plan? What if the very thing I am trying to avoid is for a purpose? I hope that I can take a step back and think about those two questions the next time I am struggling with something or someone. She talked about being intentional or being distracted in life. Intentional does not mean perfect it means having the courage and confidence to live true to my core values. If I press on to purpose it will be unfolded before me. 

I also loved how she broke down courage and confidence. It takes courage to get to confidence. If I want confident children I have to give them opportunities to be brave and to show courage. I can't do everything for them. What I can do is ask God to hold them up. I don't know if I am ready to let them be brave but I know the time is coming more quickly than I would like to think. I swear I am blinking and they are changing. 

Our intentions are a reflection of what has our attention. (Man she had so many good things to say.) I need to write this down and stick it all around my house so when I am getting distracted I can slide back over on the continuum of life to the intentional side. Who or what has my attention?

The last speaker of the day, Suzanne Phillips, talked about cultivating my home and leaving a legacy. I loved what she had to say about planting purposeful seeds. I must be purposeful in how I train up my children and the words that I use with them. 

"If the words that I speak in my home manifested into a life, what would be standing before me?"

Think on that one for a minute. 

This sentence makes me want get up and speak life into my home and into my kids. It makes me want to slow down and think before I speak because I am doing very important work.

So while I feel like I have much to work on walking away from Hearts, I feel really encouraged this year. I left feeling grateful first and foremost for my relationship with my Savior but also so grateful for my husband, kiddos and friends and for the chance to gather, grow and go!

Until next year!!