13.1

In April of 2018 I hated how I looked, and I hated how I felt. I distinctly remember sitting in the front seat of our van, almost home and stating out loud, "I think I want to run." Which should have been laughable. I think I had to "run" the mile in 6th grade. I have never been one to want to work hard, push myself, or heaven forbid, sweat. Running had never once been something I desired to do or for sure ever something I thought I could do. But on that day I reached out to Ammon with the idea and desire to do something. Anything to feel better about myself. 

A lot has happened since that simple text. We indeed ran. We got more friends to run, our husbands challenged us by running too, friendships strengthened, our families all grew, we went through hard seasons, we had so much fun, we quit, we got discouraged, but we always started again. I don't know exactly when it happened, but "run a half marathon" got put on all of our bucket lists. The boys did theirs (and then some), Dana ran hers all alone with us on the sideline in 2020, and this past Saturday it was Ammon and I's turn. We ran 13.1 miles. We did it! And its a weekend I never want to forget.

Ammon and I ran all summer. I had to quickly forget about the not wanting to sweat part of my personality; I don't think I was ever not sweating these last couple of months. We picked to run the Indy Monumental so that we would not have to sweat. We also picked it because it is flat (ain't nobody out here wanting to run hills). We had to bundle up which felt a little out of our norm, but in the end this was the perfect race and race day. It was 30 degrees when we lined up with the 12,000 other runners. A few days before our race, our Airbnb canceled on us, which made us panic just a bit (we needed a house that would fit 17). In hindsight it was a blessing because we found a house .6 miles away from the starting line, allowing Ammon and I to excitedly walk to the start line versus worrying about traffic and parking. We were ready to run!!

It sounds like the real marathon was getting all of the kids dressed, fed and out the door to come cheer us on. I am so appreciative of the husbands and Dana for corralling our crew. The end of a race is such a mental game, but I knew I was going to see my fan club soon. I think my proudest moment was when Em told me she wanted to run like me someday. The boys are harder critics..they still think I am a slow-poke. 

I practiced this smile. That sounds so silly and unimportant, but I did. I had to in order to get in the right celebratory mindset for this race. About a month ago my training came to a huge halt when I experienced my first running injury. There were a few weeks where I really didn't see how I would be ready for race day. My pace goal was shot, and when I pictured my race it was often of me quitting. But then I ran with a smile one day. From then on out I decided to look at my race as a celebration of everything I had done since 2018. I wanted to just have fun. Anything after that would exceed my own expectations. 

And guess what...I exceeded my own expectations! I ran 13.1 miles, I finished with an average pace of 13.03, and I had so much fun. I am not fast, but I read a quote once that advised to not call yourself slow because your slow is probably someone else's fast. True. In the end I was thrilled with my first half marathon experience. I loved the big hugs I got from my littles and the proud of you kiss from my husband. I loved the quivering muscles in my legs and the salt on my face (30 degrees...still sweat), and I loved the camaraderie I felt with all the runners around me. 

I also loved seeing this tough runner cheering me on at the finish line. This summer, when we decided to run, it was me who had half marathon on the bucket list. Ammon wouldn't commit. She said she would train with me but wasn't so sure about a race. Fast forward to this last month and race day...all I can say is that my dear friend put. in. the. work. She didn't miss a run, she didn't miss cheering on my runs, and she didn't miss pushing me to get out there more. She raised her own bar and succeeded, and I am so proud and thankful for getting to share this experience with her. 

After our race we celebrated. We are good at that. Lots of food, lots of loud kids, funny games, the most beautiful day, drinks. And then we repeated all of that. The kids had fun. The adults had fun. I love making memories with this group of people. 

I don't think April of 2018 Ashley knew what 2021 Ashley could do. Take the weight or looks out of it for me (which is a win in and of itself), but I feel so much better. I am strong, I am determined, I like a challenge, heck...I even like to sweat. There is something special about running. Its such a perfect mix of therapeutic alone time and a team sport. You are rooting for every person you see on the course. You are rooting for your running partner. You couldn't do it without your team. Those around you succeeding is somehow twisted into your own success. Honestly I am a little sad that I just got started. But at least I got started. 

We are hooked now. This whole crazy bunch. Not just hooked on running, but on lifting each other up, pushing each other out of comfort zones, and of course always having fun. (We are thinking no kids next time though...don't tell them). 

I still have that goofy smile on my face and my legs are sore. 

Worth it.