Baby #1 VS. Baby #2

I wish I could come up with a better name for this post. I do not want you to get the wrong impression. My babies are not competing-one will never be better than the other-I will never have a favorite. I am just simply comparing how I felt about Baby #1-aka Emery Kayt- and I how I feel and think about Baby #2-You totally thought I was going to share his name right there. Too bad. He doesn’t have one.

And that is just what I am talking about. The boy has no name, no set God Parents, no room, honestly no clothes. The poor boy really doesn’t have anything. And I have to tell myself that that is okay. I am only 27 weeks…I hopefully have 12 more weeks with no baby in my arms. I just can’t help but think about what I was doing when I was 27 weeks with baby girl. Her room was planned and almost complete, her baby shower was in two weeks, there was at least a list of names circulating between Doug and I. My world revolved around my baby girl and becoming a Mommy.

And guess what. My world still revolves around that baby girl and being her Mommy.  It is all I know now. That is where I start thinking about Baby Boy and where he will fit into all of this. What will be our new normal and my new world? I have heard about new Moms worrying about loving their other children as much as their first and I totally get it—I do not really have that fear—but I do get it. I love every single thing about Emery. Every stage has been my favorite. My heart is full. But I know that my heart is only going to double in size and there will be the perfect amount of space for my boy.

And this is where I am the luckiest person in the whole world. I am being blessed with a bigger heart. I know not to take this for granted. There are people in this world and very close to me that would love nothing more to have one bundle of joy let alone two. That is why I am going to love on my two even more. I have learned so much recently about loving your loved ones and enjoying every second. They are gifts and I am so so thankful.

On a lighter note, when comparing Baby #1 and Baby #2, I have to bring up the fact that one is a girl and one is a boy. I am totally a girl mom. Emery won’t leave her room without a bow in her hair. She tucks in and kisses her baby doll every night. She owns two pairs of pink shoes…..and pink everything else. She says “Yuck” when she sees a mud puddle. Girls rule at this Jansen house. There is a mile long list of things I want Emery to know and learn from me. I want her to be a sweet and spunky little girl and grow up to be an amazing and powerful woman. Sooooo how do I become a boy mom too? How do I dress him? What does he play with? What will be his personality? And most importantly, what do I teach him to ensure that he grows up to be a great man just like his Daddy? If you have any tips, I am all ears! Discussing decisions with my husband, getting help from our family and asking God for his guidance has gotten us this far…..so for now I will just stick to that!

Right now my world is easy. We are routine kinda people. I could probably tell you what we are going to be doing at pretty much any moment of any day. Emery has always been easy. Has always slept all night, good eater, behaves (for the most part). Just easy. I know (and have accepted) that my mew world will not be so easy. But I also know that it will take just a little bit of time and we will wonder what we ever did without Baby #2. This reminds me of a conversation Doug and I had when we were thinking about have a #2. We both agreed that we loved our lives at that moment-so simple-so perfect-but we secretly both craved some chaos. I cannot tell you how many times I have dreamed about yelling outside that supper is ready and having Emery and her brother come running inside sweaty and dirty…and happy. And at the end of that scene Doug and I are worn out….but guess what….we are happy.

When it comes to similarities between Em and the boy, the list is short.

 I had the easiest pregnancy with Emery and enjoyed it so much. She was healthy and is healthy. When I thought about her, I always pictured the first time Doug would get to hold her. And that little baby butt sticking up in the air. I had hopes to write a blog to document her life.

My pregnancy with Baby Boy has also been so easy. I must like being pregnant because I am loving it this round too. So far the boy checks out very healthy and I pray he stays that way. When I think of Baby Boy and his first moments, I do not think of Doug this time though. I actually think of Emery coming in to see us for the first time and saying “Baby” in that sweet voice of hers. And then we will be four. I picture that little baby butt (in blue this time) in my arms and I hope to continue a blog that will document his life. Weekly chalkboards have been a good start.

So am I ready for #2 like I was for #1? Not in the slightest bit. But that is okay because I want him to be healthy and strong and stay snuggled in my belly for as long as he would like. I want him to know that I love him more than anything—I just might not be as prepared this time around. And I want Emery Kayt to feel that I love her more than anything. I guess after writing this I have realized something. It doesn’t matter that I do not have everything checked of my list like I did with Em. She didn’t need all that stuff—although those bows sure where cute—Doug and I were just enough for her. So really this boy is extra  lucky—because he will have his Mommy, Daddy and Sister to take care of him!

Okay. Now I feel better about baby boy. Thanks for listening.