Busy Days (and Sleepless Nights)

First week of summer break 2016 is in the books and we have not sat still once! With a birthday party to get ready for and two kids with lots and lots of energy, we have been spending most of our days busting it--yard work, cleaning, lots of swinging and sliding, a little successful shopping trip and a week of sleepless nights (more on that last one later.)

 

Emery Kayt has to be exhausted every night simply from the amount of talking and pretending she is doing. Doug and I cannot keep up. Rarely are we Mommy and Daddy and she is Emery. Princess this, Princess that, a puppy, a grandma, a sister, a bunny, a doctor. Auggie is usually given a part to play too. And heaven forbid we call each other by the wrong name or part. I love that this imagination is emerging..... but I have to admit that it is exhausting. My favorite part of the day is when she finally says, "You be my Mommy and I will be your Emery." YES. Always.

 

Taking the kids to the park just reminds of this time last year. The house was clean, the bags were packed and we were so ready to meet our boy. I wasn't much fun to play with so we spent a few afternoons in the park together. And I thought she was such a big girl then. Now she will climb up and down all by herself. She is cautious yet adventurous at the same time. She surprises us a lot-- with things that she says and does. The other day she up and wrote an "E" (granted it had like 10 horizontal lines instead of three...but my girl wrote an E!) She remembers everythinggggg. She does this sweet "mom-voice" when she sees Auggie and will pat his little head. She is exactly the big sister I knew she would be.

 

 ~My original slide-lover~ 

Lately I feel like I am getting frustrated with her easily. She is so good and always has been easy but the girl is so darn smart and she is learning how to test the waters a bit. And it really is just a bit. She is still the sweetest and smartest and her sassiness keeps me on my toes which I need. Deep down I know that she needs more of me. More attention and focus. Its hard with wild-one hanging on my leg.

 

So I am hoping for some more one-on-one with my silly girl. Summer breaks bring on a lot of feels for me. I became a Mommy almost three summer breaks ago. Blink and here we are!  

 

August Samuel. This one. If Em is testing the waters just a bit, than this one is diving right in!

 

We just sit back and watch Auggie. What is the man going to do next? No fear has him climbing (and keeping up with) his big sister. Whatever she has or is doing you can bet he is right there too. I love watching him watch her--if that makes sense. Such admiration and love. I can't wait to watch it grow.

 

Like I said, we just sit back and watch ha! He only does things the hard way and then turns around and claps for himself. I think he would be walking if he would just slow down. Walk first, then run. He must have a very high threshold for pain. He will let out an over the top whine but my arms quickly stop it and he is reaching for the ground to do whatever he just did, again. 

 

Last year at this time I just couldn't wait to meet him. June 9th couldn't come soon enough. I loved him so much already but my love now blows that out of the water. I don't really know how I pictured he would be or what he would look like. I only knew Emery so I was probably thinking along those lines. He is just what I needed yet so different from what I expected. I just am in awe of how God picks out these personalities that I am talking about. How he pairs them together. Pairs us together.

 

I don't know why (okay, actually I do know why) but when I hold August or see his over-the-top grin, these are my thoughts. I get overwhelmed with how great of a God I serve. Auggie will still bring tears to my eyes (you know those big sappy ones that you cry right after you bring your newborn home and you are sitting and rocking and thinking how can I ever love anything so much.) I blamed it on the hormones then but now I am just blaming it on this amazingly blessed life that I get to live with Em and Aug.

 

And one more of my birthday man just because he has me completely wrapped around his little dimpled finger....

 

So much so that I have completely let my guard down and am creating a monster. Well, a monster that doesn't sleep. Aug has always been a pretty good sleeper. When he is sick he wakes up maybe once. That is usually one of the only signs we have to know that he is sick. Before we left for Vegas he was getting up once, maybe twice, but we blamed that on teeth (I think he is working on about six, poor guy.) But he slept like an angel for Nana. Even sleeping in two days. The same cannot be said since we got back from our trip. The next night he was up twice and just CLUNG to me. I swore he was sound asleep after rocking but the minute I layed him back down he would pop up and start the whole panicky process over. He did it again the next night. And the next. By then it was up three times...then four....then....you get the idea.

Saturday night the only way I could get any sleep was if he was in my arms. So he slept on me and I dozed. Totally against my "mom-rules" but sometimes you just give in and promise to work on it the next night. You also hope that the next night is the night that he just sleeps. My Mom thinks I am crazy but I really think he has separation anxiety. I googled it therefore I am now an expert ha! This only started after I had been gone for four nights. He doesn't want a bottle, he isn't crying like he is in pain. He just literally crawls up me and just wants to sleep in my arms. I think it has gotten progressively worse because I have given in too many times this week. Remember, I said we had been busting it.... I was tired! So I am going to try to sooth him without picking him up. He needs to know that I am there for him but also that he can self sooth (or grab one of 30 pacis he sleeps with) and sleep like he used to sleep. 

One year olds need sleep. Especially wild ones with a birthday this week! So I am praying that he feels safe and loved and calm during these next few night. I hope he can hear the love in my voice (over the sleepiness.) 

Here is to summer break and birthday week and lots and lots of good nights sleep!

*UPDATE: I wrote this post last night as I was dreading the night ahead. I layed Auggie Boy down at 8 and at 9 he was already up. Ugh. I picked him up, said Night-night and layed him back down. And did this on repeat for about 15 minutes. Auggie HATED it. Full on meltdown. But after a little bit he would just kind of stand and hug my belly and I could feel him getting sleepy. He finally layed down (keeping and eye one me for awhile) then SLEPT THE REST OF THE NIGHT!!!  He seemed so refreshed this morning. Hoping it wasn't a fluke and maybe we are back on track. But I know things are usually not that easy.... Happy Monday to me though!